“The child’s conquest of independence begins with his first introduction to life.” - Montessori

What is independence? And what does it mean in regards to your child? Surely, a new born is not able to dress themselves, and a 3-year-old cannot go alone to school. Of course not - but how will your child become ready to do these tasks independently?

Independence is learned and not achieved without practice, and yet many parents do not recognize the vital steps to helping their child develop independence in every area of their life.

To be an independent adult in our society you must be able to feed yourself, dress appropriately, navigate your city, advocate for your rights - but how can a person possibly be able to do this without practice?

For parents, the first step is modelling. Everything you do, your child sees. They absorb and accept everything you do as 'the correct way". How you prepare food, how you talk to a cashier, how you clean your windows, how you use your phone - they see everything. It is more than likely, that they too will do as you model to them. This doesn't mean that you have to be perfect, it just means that you have to be aware. Let them see how to cook and clean, how to talk to others, how to solve a conflict. Model how you would want your child to interact with the world they live in.

Next, a parent needs to provide opportunities for their child to be independent. This means making a physical environment where they have opportunities and choices. For example, having a low shelf in the kitchen with healthy snacks, plates, water and cups, allows them to prepare food for themselves. Having a child size broom provides them with a chance to clean up their spills independently. Providing a sturdy step-stool in the bathroom so they can wash their hands. All of these options give your child a chance to practice being self-reliant, taking initiative, and choosing to be indepedant.

And finally, 'Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.' (Maria Montessori). I know it can be frustrating to watch your child trying to do something that you could easily do - like zipping up their jacket, climbing into a chair, getting that last pea onto their fork, but give them the space to do it. That struggle helps to develop their concentration, their ability to complete the task again, and their confidence to act independently. Of course their is a balance, if it is a task that it out of their abilities, offer your help or explain what part of the activity they can try to do first.

Over all, a parent needs to observe their child and seek opportunities where their child can act for themselves.

If you have any questions or comments, we would love to hear from you. Email us at yourcosmicchild@gmail.com or comment below.